NOT me Monday

Yea, I know it's Tuesday.

I won't post it on MckMama's site because of that technicality. Although it did happen yesterday.

So anyway: My Not me Monday, I mean Tuesday story:

Jackson has been doing a great job going potty in the big boy potty. So great, that I had to forbid him from pottying last night. He gets up there...tinkles a tiny tiny little bit, and gets ALL excited for his M&M. Two minutes later, same story.

Oh yea, Not me! I didn't forbid my 2 year old potty trainer from pottying anymore and force him to keep his pjs on!

HE'S GOING TO TURN INTO AN M&M IF THIS KEEPS UP!

I found this today while preparing for my new website. I wrote it when Jackson was a baby:

Those tiny little fingers
Chubby wrists
Creamy, soft skin
…I love this child

That gummy grin
Innocent smile
Sheer glee…
God, I love this child

That bottom lip
Those round cheeks
Big round eyes
Pure innocence…
God, thank you for my child

~Meredith McLaughlin 2007

A car ride with a 25 month old

It's funny to look back at posts about conversations with Jackson. They are progressing well I suppose. Our longest and deepest conversations happen in the car. You know, the only time he isn't either watching Shrek or begging to watch Shrek. So here goes, from our ride home today. A car ride with a 25 month old:

"Car mama. Two carsth. One two foor sickth nine Two carsth."

"That's good counting, Baby"

"Big Truck. Papa Big Truck. Papa housth. Papa housth dum dums. Dum Dum mama? Sucka? Mines have it?

The thought of our car ride four days ago rushes into my head. We were 2 hours in to a four hour drive after Jackson had 3 dum dums earlier in the day and one blow pop in the car already (I need to note here that I worked that day and Daddy was in charge). Well, needless to say, after 2 gushing vomit fits, we stopped at a gas station and hosed down Jackson's clothes with the scary water hose in back of the gas station. We then rode our remaining 2 hours with me covered in vomit and the car smelling to high heaven...all the while, Justin was mumbling, "No more dum dums." "We don't have any suckers Baby." I wonder if it's a sin to lie to a 2 year old.

"oh dum dum Papa housth.

"Yea. Tell me about your friends at school, did you have a good day?"

"JoJo bite hurrs."

"Yes, it hurts when friends bite each other. Friends need to be sweet to each other."

"Friends. JoJo, Charey. Pay Park. Charey"

"Did you play with Joseph and Charlie today on the playground?"

"Ohh, church, house, two house! Baby Cying Mama Pacy, Pacy!"

"I'm sorry Baby. I'll be at a red light in a minute. Tell me about school today. Were you sweet to your friends (we received a report that he had had a rough day)"

"friends"

"Yes, baby, were you sweet to your friend, Jeffrey today? the bad report was that he had a scuffle with Jeffrey"

"I puu hayuh. Bite. Hurrs."

"Jackson! Did you pull hair? No sir! We don't pull our friends hair! We love our friends. And NO BITING. It does hurt, you're right. Tomorrow I want you to give Jeffrey a big hug. He is your friend."

"Big Truck. ChChCha Chchcha...singing jibber jabber. (This is a song from Shrek). Donkey, Shrek, Pimpess (Princess), flyfly (Fairy Godmother), Shrek? Oooh, big truck. Donkey?"

"What color is that truck, Jackson?"

"White! Red!" (White is ALWAYS his first answer...no clue why.) "Errrrp. HAHAHAHAHA!" (This is a fake burp that he learned from none other than ...Shrek.)

"When we burp we say 'excuse me.' What about that truck; what color is it?"

"Big Truck"

Silence.....strange silence.

"You made a snow man at school today, didn't you? Mommy saw it. You did a good job!"

"Man. Ho HO HO!"

"Santa Claus says Ho Ho Ho, Baby. But you made a good snowman!"

"chchcha chchcha (singing) Shrek?"

"You can watch it for a few minutes when we get home while I cook you something to eat."

"Eat? Besfast? Eat eggs? Pup. Zthacksthon's pup?"

"Give me a second and I'll get your cup. We're gonna eat chicken for dinner."

"Chicken? Eat? Mines eat."

"That's right Jackson. We'll eat in a little bit."

"I hungy. I eat. Dum dum?"

Not me Monday!

Monday again. I think I'll try this "Not me Monday" thing. For some good therapy click on over to MckMama's blog and play along with Not Me Monday!

My Not me Monday:

Long story short I had to buy a car Saturday. I searched on the internet all night Friday night, all day on Saturday preparing for the long hours of beating some poor sales guy up over the numbers with my research in hand. Unfortunately I didn't find the perfect car online and gave up all hope. I went to carmax with two cars in mind, best friend, and best 4 month old in tow for moral support since I couldn't beat anyone up that day (you can't negotiate at Carmax).

I was EXHAUSTED! I test drove two cars, talked myself into the more expensive, nicer one, realized that the gas mileage was unacceptable and changed my mind. After being there an hour, I was back to square one. I don't have the patience for things like this.

So my great sales man (Cason) said, "Let me pull up everything that we have with a 3rd row seat." He found a Ford Freestyle, of which I had never even heard of. Too tired to move at this point, I told him not to bother pulling it around, just to show me pictures on the internet. He forced me to let him drive it around. I took one quick tired glance and I bought it.

So today I'm realizing just how funny it is that I'm too tired to test drive a car before I buy it. Or maybe I'm too impatient. Or maybe I'm the mom of a 25 and a 4 month old. Either way, I didn't spend over $17k on Saturday without so much as sitting in the driver's seat until Sunday! NOOOO, not me!!

I'm confessing, but I had to share

So, to post this one, I'm sharing a little something...but too funny not to share.

SOOO, I have a tattoo that looks something like this on my back. (Sorry that the image is so big. I can't figure out how to shrink it.)

Jackson saw it the other night and said "Ohhh, pretty fly fly!" [Fly Fly is butterfly in two year old language]

Justin thinks it's HILAROUS!

Time to get tattoos removed before I have to explain why he's not allowed to write on himself and draw pretty fly flys on his skin like Mommy.

Oh, stupidity...it'll kick you in the butt every time!

Not my proudest moment

I told my dearest friend this story and she said "that sounds like a blog post." Well, it's not my proudest moment and it's more about me than about my 2 baby dolls, but I'll share it anyway. I hope you enjoy it.

We met Matthew and "Enen" otherwise known as Helen, Matthew's Mommy, at the park on Sunday.

Well, let me back up. Chompers McLaughlin (otherwise known as Jackson) has been known to bite kids at school. We have NEVER seen him do it. Not at playdates, not at the park, never. But we seem to get a lot of notes sent home. One day, we got three. This is VERY upsetting to us, but we've been at a loss of what to do about it. I have always kindof hoped to catch him so that I could discipline him myself rather than allowing his only discipline to be the way they do it at school. Which consists of explaining that we don't hurt our friends and give them a hug. IT'S NOT WORKING!!

SO, back to the park. Jackson found a football and was playing with it for a long time. I just assumed that the kid must have left the ball there. Graham was being fussy because I was talking with friends while feeding him and not providing the most perfect serene environment in which to enjoy his bottle. My stress levels started to rise a little because of Graham's squirmy fussy bottle wrestling moves and then it happened.

A five year old boy (that I THINK goes to my church) said "that's my ball" and ran up to Jackson and took his ball back. And then, ball in hand, said "He bit me!"

A flood of emotions go through my head. I'm actually kindof happy that I finally get to address our biting issue and it wasn't one of his friends that I am friends with their mommies. (Is that bad?) I'm actually kindof happy that it was a big kid that didn't scream bloody murder and he really didn't hurt him. BUT I'm HORRIBLY embarrassed, I have a fussy infant that is half way through a bottle in my arms and my 2 year old is screaming. I apologize to the kid as I blow past him to get on to Jackson while holding Graham like a football. Graham is NOT happy about this whole situation. I get on to Jackson and make him give the football back to the kid (his dad made him give it to the screaming 2 year old while I was charging my way over there). I got on to Jackson and quickly decided that this was too much stress to handle. I buckled Graham in the car. I went to get Jackson, ATTEMPTED to get him to apologize to the kid and all I got was his look. It's the look that he does when he knows he's in trouble. He turns his chin away from me and rolls his eyes toward the sky, but rolls them down to peek at me every other second. LIKE HE CAN'T HEAR ME! Of course, he didn't say I'm sorry (he never has) and I'm TOTALLY mad and embarrassed. I load Jackson into the car kicking and screaming.

I decided that I'm just WAY to stressed to get on Hwy 31 so I attempt to navigate my way through the neighborhood to get home. Graham is crying in the backseat because he was only half way done with his bottle, and Jackson was crying because of the drama of the whole situation. I turned to look at a street sign to figure out where the heck I was and I NAILED a guy's mailbox. Took it clean off the post. I successfully didn't cuss in front of my screaming kids (an accomplishment in itself) and I turned into the next driveway to turn around and walk the walk of shame to the guys front door, mailbox in hand. A gawker was blocking my way out of backing out of the driveway to turn around and my blood pressure rose a little more. When he FINALLY decided to move out of my way, I backed out of the driveway and pulled back in front of the dreaded mailbox. I put my car in park, turned on my hazards, got out of my car and realized that another gawker was STILL sitting there staring at me through her driver's side mirror.

Here's my proud moment:

I aggressively charged her car, bowed up at her, and with my arms in the air yelled "WHAT?" She did the whole Oh God! She sees me! head duck and pulled away. Idiot.

I picked up the mailbox and dragged mself to his front door. I could hear Jackson yelling "DOOR" in the background because he wanted to go too. I rang the doorbell and no one answered. Relieved that I didn't have to admit my stupidity in person, I went back to my car and wrote him a note to call me and I'll buy him a new mailbox. As I was walking back up to his front door, he came out of the house and met me in the yard. I apologized profusely, and we talked for a while. He thought he could fix the mailbox and said he'd call me if he couldn't. Then he said that he was glad I stopped and that someone had hit his dog the day before and hadn't stopped. Then he informed me that the dog had died. Well that did it. I broke down and started to cry. I quickly excused myself as not to embarrass myself any more for the afternoon, and got into my car.

My stress climaxed while trying to get Jackson to tell Daddy what happened at the park and relaying the story of my afternoon and I sat at the table, fed Graham the rest of his bottle, had a good cry, and drank a big glass of wine.

Why does that make the whole day feel better?

Things I have learned. Part 3.

Things I have learned, Part 3:

Vocabulary of a 24 month old and a few other jewels of wisdom:

Truck is spelled F-R-U-C-K. Well, at least that's how it's pronounced so it must be spelled that way...even in public.

It doesn't matter in which order you say numbers 1 through 6, nor which ones you miss, as long as you end with "samen, eight, nine, TEEEEENNNNN"!

If you keep saying "noses?" while your mom is tucking you in, she will stay in your room indefinitely and keep giving you eskimo kisses. Even if it's 57 times.

FIRST thing in the morning, crawl in bed with Mommy and whisper "I hungy. I eat?" It doesn't matter if she hasn't slept a wink, she will get up and make you "besfast."

If you say "Monkey? George Monkey?" when Mommy has on the morning news, she will change it to Curious George even though she doesn't want to.

If you say, "Paaaayy, Daddy!" Daddy will close his laptop and play with you everytime. And then he'll smile and say "Paaayyy, Daddy" everytime he thinks about how dang cute you are.

When two year olds say "Hush, Sadie!," the dog doesn't listen.

If you say "Baby keeeessth," Mommy will get the baby and bring him to you so you can kiss his head. Even if your face is covered in spaghetti.

Babies heads smell like whatever your 2 year old ate for dinner.

If you say "OH POO POO!" during naptime, your mom will run into your room REALLY FAST! (see prior blogs)

If you say "pay? park?" when your mom wants to go to the grocery store, you MAY be able to talk her into a detour.

No matter how many times you sing it, your mom STILL doesn't know the words to the new songs you sing at school.

It's fun to sing random words and make mommy guess which song you're trying to sing ALL the way home from school.

Even though two year olds can bounce, sometimes they don't.

If the sun is in your eyes in the car, keep yelling "ASSES!!!" over and over, your mom will give you your sunglasses when she stops laughing.

When you wear your "asses" on your head like daddy does, the sun is still in your eyes.

This is how I know he's my son - a story in pictures

For anyone that has known me for any length of time you know I sleep hard and long. I require 9 hours per night (maybe this is why the last 3 months have been so rough!)
You may also know that I can sleep anytime anywhere and in any position. I fell asleep at a red light once in college. Here are a few pictures of J sleeping. Justin and I routinely go in his room while he's sleeping to check him out and take pictures of what we find. Some are precious and some are just HILARIOUS!
This is my child. He's a sleeper just like me:













Yes, in the bathtub.













This is the EXACT position that I sleep:
















And this is the one that made me think to write this blog. He actually has his sippy cup in his hand. Click on it and you will see the puddle of drool. He was sleeping HARD!

Happy Big #2 Jackson!!!!

A little over two years ago, I was pregnant with my "Booger." (Yes, that's what I call him...deal with it.) I commented several times that I cannot imagine how anyone who has ever had a child could say that they don't believe in God. While you are "cooking" a baby as I like to call it, each moment is intricately planned. Each system in the human body begins forming in a perfectly timed order. Everything happens in a particular order and in a particular place and the end result is a perfect, intricate system that makes up a baby boy or girl. It's a miracle every single time.

I was lucky to have 2 easy pregnancies. If a pregnancy can possibly be easy that is. The day that we found out that Jackson was on the way was certainly one of the happiest days of my life. He is INCREDIBLE. Justin laughs about him being this "little person." He says that he is a whole person, just smaller. It sounds silly, but it really is amazing. It's amazing the way that they grow inside their mommies. It's amazing the way that they are born. It's amazing the way that they grow. It's amazing the way that they learn and develop and figure things out.

My whole person, just smaller, is turning two years old in about 9 hours. We've been talking a lot about birthdays so that he will understand his own birthday. He calls it Happy Day Day. He was sitting in his high chair eating dinner tonight and caught the sight of the iced cookies on the counter that I bought for him to bring to school tomorrow and started saying "Happy Day Day" "Peas?" "Happy Day Day" "PEEEAAASS" We actually threw a small blanket over them and he completely forgot that they were there. Outta sight outta mind. A blanket on the counter? He doesn't even notice.

When I brought my little miracle home from the hospital, I had to have him as close as possible every single moment and he slept in a cradle next to my side of the bed. I distinctly remember the first night that he was home. I was sitting on the edge of my bed, chin in my hands, watching his chest rise and fall. I didn't understand SIDS, but I knew that as long as I saw his chest rise and fall every single time then he was ok. I was so exhausted and finally I prayed. I said, "God, it's your turn now. You'll have to watch his chest for me while my eyes are closed." I was actually able to rest knowing that God was sitting on the edge of my bed, chin in His hands, making sure that tiny little chest was rising and falling as it should. Sometimes I forget that God was letting me borrow him for the next __ years. I'm SO glad that he did. God couldn't have picked a more incredible kid for me to take care of for Him. It's been two years now and some days are a challenge, and some are just fun, but all are a blessing. I hope that I'm living up to God's expectations. I hope I'm raising that precious little boy to be the man that God wants him to be. I hope that God looks down and is proud of his little boy, and proud of the manner in which he is being taught, and disciplined, and encouraged. It's a little overwhelming to remember that God only lets us borrow his tiny angels, and relies on us to take care of them on earth. I'm so glad that he continues to help us everytime we need his assistance!

Two years...they have FLOWN! I am amazed every day at that little guy. I'm so proud of him.

Happy Day Day Jackson!

It's that hand again!

The moment when an infant discovers his hand is such an adorable thing. They are just laying there looking at whatever their mom has strung up over them to play with and all of a sudden...out of nowhere...there goes that hand again! They make every possible effort with those jerky little muscles of theirs to see it again. And...there it is! This time they stop and stare at the balled up little fist as if it's the most foreign of objects. But somehow, it's always there. They turn it in different directions, with lips pursed and serious eyebrows in deep concentration until, in a moment, they lose control of the fist, it leaves their line of sight, and the mysterious object is again forgotten.

I was watching Graham and his little fist tonight and was reminded about the day that Jackson discovered his first flower. It was one of those long purple flowers that grows in monkey grass and he was old enough to sit up, but not old enough to crawl. I'll never forget the spark that lit up his eyes as he leaned in toward the flower and reached his pudgy arm out and gently touched the flower with those tiny fat fingers. He was delighted and curious and amazed. I happened to have my camera in the yard and took his picture as he played with it, but I knew I'd never catch the look in his eye on camera. You had to be there to really really see it. The look of discovery. To see something beautiful for the very first time.

I wish I took the time to enjoy the wonder of a flower, but like most people, I pass it by. We have actually dug all of that monkey grass up and gotten rid of it now! Ironic.

This Thanksgiving, let's take a few minutes to be wowed by the simple things that God created. He put a lot of thought into each and every petal of each and every varying flower. He put even more thought into the human body, I'm sure. Not everyone gets to see a pudgy little fist all balled up to enjoy, but enjoy the fact that He carefully and thoughtfully made you. That we have each other. That we have health, and life, and joy...and flowers.