Is that a turd hanging on my wall? Things I have Learned Part 6...all to do with poop

When you take off a baby's diaper and it appears that they pooped, but there is no poop in the diaper...DO NOT ignore it. The poop didn't disappear. You will find the golf ball sized turd dangling from your bathroom wall 3 hours later and you will think...How the hell did that get there?

When you reward your 2 year old for "poo pooing" by giving him dum dums...his poo turns the color of the previous dum dum.

It IS possible to change a dirty diaper on a sleeping 10 month old (only to be attempted on nighttime diapers 'cause it's just not worth it otherwise)...
Step 1: Hold flashlight in your mouth
Step 2: take off pants

Step 3: decide whether you are good enough at diapers to do this while he's on his tummy

Steps 4-8: Unseal, wipe wipe, slip clean one under, powder, and seal again.

Step 9: Hold still cause he just woke up

Step 10: Start to drool on your flashlight cause your trying not to breathe while holding still

Step 11: work fast cause he went back to sleep - put on pants
Steps 12 and 13: Escape and wipe off flashlight before it sparks in your mouth

Last step: Give yourself a gold star - you earned it!

I Asked

Sometimes when I ask my 2 year old a question, I get well, an answer. Sometimes I think....Well, I asked.

Here are some examples:

Me: "Which car do you want to ride to school in?"

2 Year Old: "Mmmm, my ride Ice Cream Truck."

Me: I asked.

(When I walked outside to find my hubby checking the pool chemicals and my 2 year old swimming naked)

Me: "What are you doing!?"

2 year old: "Sthwimming"

Me: I asked.

(While kissing his sunglasses)
Me: "What are you doing?"

2 year old: "My Kiss Asses"

Me: I asked.

Things I have learned Part 5

EEEshoe bunnies live at the mall. Indefinitely.

2 year olds can spot "Ridecycles" from further away then I can see.

Dinaforces are those animals that are now extinct.

Mommy's don't always get the 1st lock of hair from their baby's 1st haircut...at least not if the 1st haircut is given by the 2 year old brother. (not too bad):

If you let your 2 year old sleep with a stuffed animal, a toy airplane, and a toy shovel at night, you will be giving 4 night night kisses - one to the 2 year old, one to the stuffed animal, one to the airplane and one to the shovel. And when the 2 year old decides everyone also needs eskimo kisses...it gets interesting. Does anyone know which end of a shovel its nose is on? 'Cause that would REALLY help me out...