Never give a stressed out Mom a meat cleaver

So, I spent the better part of my afternoon in the urgent care center today. Why? Well because having two under two, a career, and running a household just isn't enough-that's why. I also need to rid myself of the use of my left hand and to be forbidden to get it wet for 2 weeks-THAT should do it!

I was CRAVING roasted winter vegetables (thanks, Helen) and got Graham settled and happy in his bouncey seat. I decided that it would be easiest to chop that tough butternut squash using a meat cleaver. Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time anyway.

I had gotten only two chops in when I slammed it down as hard as I could a third time.

It could have been from sheer shock and horror, but I've somehow erased the memory of why in the world I decided to put my left hand in the way.I'm actually VERY lucky that I didn't chop my finger off- pure luck.

I looked down, grabbed a handful of napkins, went into the living room to get Graham out of his seat, who was happy to see me and grinned and started talking. Not for long! I scooped him up with my good arm, plopped him in his car seat, miraculously buckled it with one hand, and off we went.

We walked in to the urgent care center, left hand still above my head and announced that I almost cut my finger off. I was quickly herded to the trauma room.

I successfully did not get a drop of blood on Graham to the amazement of the nurses. They were all announcing to each other-she didn't get any blood on the baby and LOOK AT HER HAND! (I'm an inspiration to them all.)

I'm not sure how many stitches I have because I was too busy trying to calm the nervous medical resident assigned to me-I think 10 or so. To his defense, I did run out of the house without a bottle and Graham was telling me how dumb I was for that and for allowing the whole thing to happen in the first place. Which reminds me, I need to write a thank you card to the nurse who hugged and shushed him for an hour.

Ah, Life...

My time is up

So Graham told me that my time is up tonight. It went like this:

We planned to meet Jeffrey and Matthew at Boo at the Zoo and I was excited. I packed and loaded Graham in the car. We stopped at J's school, picked him up and off we went. We arrived at the Birmingham Zoo and Matthew and Matthew's Mommy and Daddy were not far behind. Daddy met us there and so did Jeffrey and his parents. Jackson was in a great mood, and Graham was too. Lots of fun (see pics)











After a wonderful evening of trick or treating, a train ride,a hay ride, feeding ducks...tons of fun. THEN, In the middle of the carousel ride, Graham determined that it was time to go home...

NOW.
He started screaming bloody murder. My blood pressure started to go up, but I ain't seen nothin' yet. The rest of the evening went a little like this:

Whah! Whah! Whah! Whah! Whah! Whah! Whah! Whah!

"Ok guys: ya'll have fun - Graham and I are leaving." Whah! Whah!

Off I went steering the big ol' long double stroller through the crazy crowded zoo.
Whah! Whah!

Move people move...it's getting worse....
Whah! Whah!

I'm weaving through people like the dogs at the dog show weave through those cones. Whah! Whah!

I'm almost to the gate. Whah! Whah!

Oh, crap I have Helen's purse in the stoller. Whah! Whah!

I whooped that big long stroller around and weaved back through the crowd of children dressed in their costumes all hyped up on candy. Whah! Whah!

Finally, we made it back to the group. Whah! Whah!

I tossed Helen her purse. Whah! Whah!

"Sorry guys, I gotta go. See ya'll later." Whah! Whah!

Back through this dang crowd again I go... Whah! Whah!

Through the gate and to the car. Whah! Whah! Whah! Whah!

I start throwing things. Diaper bag, out of stroller, into car. Whah! Whah!

Bottle case, out of stroller, into car. Whah! Whah!

Graham's costume, into car. Whah! Whah!

2 dirty bibs, 3 pacies, 2 bottles of water, cell phone, camera...KEYS KEYS KEYS...there they are. Whah! Whah!

I start to pull the pumpkin seat off of the stroller. Whah! Whah!

It won't come off! Whah! Whah!

I'm jerking the seat and tugging and jerking and the stupid thing won't come off! Whah! Whah!

What's wrong with this stupid car seat? Whah! Whah!

Helen and Lurenda arrive..."Can we help?" Whah! Whah!

"I wish we could help you with this stroller" (they are both pregnant) Whah! Whah!

"Do you have it?" Whah! Whah! "There's still a bag in the bottom" Whah! Whah! "Do you have it?" (They are great cheerleaders! They must have seen the sheer stress in my eyes)Whah! Whah!

Finally, with a POP the seat pops off of the stroller! I plop the pumpkin seat in the car, break down the stroller, toss it in the trunk, try to close the trunk, it won't close, try again, crap, rearrange, try again, rearrange, try again - success! "gotta go" I get in the car and there is ...silence...

wow, this is great...I might make it home in peace - thank you, God.

Whah! Whah! Whah! Whah! Whah! Whah!

MAN! GET OUT OF MY WAY, STUPID HYBRID! Whah! Whah!

YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO 2 MILES PER HOUR! GO! GO! FOR GOD'S SAKE GO! Whah! Whah!

You have it! Go! We're turning RIGHT! GO! Whah! Whah!

Really, we're gonna just sit here? oh finally...Whah! Whah!

Should I take 31 or the interstate Whah! Whah!

slow down Meredith Whah! Whah!

I hope whichever policeman pulls me over has kids and understands Whah! Whah!

I hope Justin and Jackson are having a better trip home than we are Whah! Whah!

slow down, Meredith Whah! Whah!

what's the speed limit?! Whah! Whah!

I'm definitely getting pulled over tonight. I need to slow down. Whah! Whah!

NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOO! I caught it red!

Whah! Whah! Whah! Whah!

Turn green turn green turn green Whah! Whah!

oh good

Whah! Whah!

almost homeWhah! Whah!


Is it faster to pull into the driveway on two wheels? Cause I think I just did. Whah! Whah!

"I'm coming, Graham."

We get inside, drop all of our stuff, get him unbuckled,

Whah! Whah!

and FINALLY, we're upstairs.

I just need to get him in the tub and this night will be over... Whah! Whah!

I lay Graham on his changing pad and this is what I get:

Little Sh*t.



Enjoy the video:

Jackson bragging

Every afternoon when I pick Jackson up from day care, I am carrying Graham. And every day, like clockwork, when I walk in I am IMMEDIATELY surrounded by 10 little 2 year olds all saying "Baby" "Baby"! It's very exciting apparently.

Jackson loves this moment, because he gets to show off that he is the big brother and that "Baby" "Baby" is his "Baby" "Baby". He boastfully walks over and kisses Graham on the head and says "Hey Baby" in that high pitched way that adults say "Hey" to a tiny baby. He then proceeds to look around and make sure all of his friends saw him do it and puffs up his chest like the proud big brother that he is. Today, he looked at all the kids and proudly announced "My Baby!"

I love that kid.

I wish

I was tickling Jackson's face with one of his stuffed animals' tails tonight.

I wish I could take his laugh and put it in a box to carry around with me. It's the most innocent, pure, delightful sound in the whole world.

Things I have learned Part 2:

Ice Cream.
Even a small bowl of ice cream at 4:30 pm can make a toddler stay awake until 9:30 (2 hrs past bedtime). Even just a small bowl of emergency ice cream given to him just to make him sit still long enough for me to feed Graham while we're shopping. It doesn't matter the reason, nor the convenience, no ice cream for toddlers if Mommy wants Mommy time that night!

Graham

Graham has started "talking." I forgot how adorable it is. I've been concentrating really hard for so long on learning my 2nd language, Jibber Jabber and now I have to brush back up on an old favorite, Cooing.

My garbage men rock!

Every Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday morning (trash day, recycle day, and trash day) the same thing happens. Jackson runs excitedly to me (no matter how many babies, bottles, diapers etc that I have in my hands) and says "Big truck! Hand! Big truck! Hand! Hand!" He grabs my hand, drags me away from whatever I was doing...which drops to the floor, and leads me to the front door. I then hear it...the garbage truck is like 3 streets away! His ears are amazing, but ONLY for things he wants to hear. I must not say "Jackson, come here" loud enough because that is impossible to hear apparently.
Back to the story.
So we head to the front door and watch the "big truck" dump everyone's trash up and down the street as he whispers "big truck" inceasantly. Then, the men wave Bye to him, yell out a roll tide, and... HONK! They may as well be superheros to that little boy- he is THAT amazed to see them every time.

Oh, Mess

Jackson drug his potty(otherwise known as his step stool) into the baby's room while Graham was buckled on to his changing pad. I heard this happening and headed that way myself. As I was walking down the hallway I heard Jackson say "Oh, messth" (he has a lysp) and walked in to find him on his tippy toes wiping up Graham's spit up with his shirt. It was sweet and cute in a gross way. By the way, it's the pot calling the kettle black when Jackson talks about someone else's mess! (See picture)

Things I have learned:

Things I have learned part 1:
Bad ideas for Halloween oufits.
Popeye the sailor man is only funny in your mind for a 23 month old. He will only look like a baby carrying around a pipe and you will get ugly looks from the other Mommys at the public library Halloween story reading event.

a car ride with a 23 month old

Please imagine if you will a screaming 7 week old in the background to get the full effect:

J:"Big truck. BIG truck. Truck truck... Ca? Mama, ca?"
M:"Yes, baby, that's a car. Can you say red car!?
J:"Ca. Coo. Oooooooo, big truck! Oh Coo. big truuuuuck. Oh man! Big truck!" (Whisper) "truck" (yell) "BIG TRUCK BIG TRUCK BIG TRUCK, Mama! BIG TRUCK"
M: yea
J:"Papa big truck" "oh man" "papa big truck"
M: "no, baby that's a truck but it's white. Papa's truck is silver."
J: "Papa" "papa big truck" ... "Ca! Mama, ca! .... Plane! Plane! Oh coo, mama plane! Bye bye plane bye bye. Truck! Big truck"
M:"yes, baby that's a big truck. Let's talk about something else- who did you play with at school today?"

"GASP!"(A gasp like he's never seen it before) "BIG TRUCK"

My little artist

So, I've mentioned the "Get your hand out of your pants, Jackson" problem before. Well, I'd like to chronicle a story... during this story I will refer to Jackson as angel. This is so that I don't develop a twitch. You'll understand in a moment.

It was a long day...Jackson was home sick from school while I was nearing the end of my maternity leave and I talked Justin into coming home from lunch during naptime to sit with my 2 under 2 while I ran to get the world's fastest haircut.

We had great day. I wanted to go to the park, but my battery died in my car. So front lawn picinc it was! We ate some lunch, and I tried to get the boys down for a nap. Jackson didn't want to sleep, but Justin tried his best. I arrived home and tried some more. He was in his room, but was just talking to himself as he does a lot during naptime. I didn't think much of it...he was resting and that was good enough. Well, I decided to get him and let him out of his room...he wasn't sleeping anyway...and I walked in... to his art show. THERE WAS POO EVERYWHERE! On his bed, on his carpet, on the glider, on the ottoman, on his stuffed animals, on him, on his socks, in his hair...EVERYWHERE!

The little blonde haired blue eyed angel innocently looked up and said "Poo poo Gross" Poo Poo Gross, really. NO KIDDING! I don't remember what I said nor how I responded. I turned into mommy machine and tossed my poo covered angel into the tub. LUCKILY, the one month old was happy (whew!). In walked Stacy, who asked which one made such a stinky diaper and I invited her into the bedroom to show her exactly what she was asking. I grabbed the nail scrubber...yes, he had it under his nails... and started scrubbing. Jackson was so excited about this new development! A bath in the middle of the day! What fun! I held back from killing the little angel proceeded to wash his sheets with a water hose in the front yard and spray the carpet with 12 gallons of ... OH NO! I'M OUT OF CARPET CLEANER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The whole while, Stacy is doing my disciplining for me...thank you, Stacy. I hear her saying, "Jackson, that's a no no!" and Jackson is saying "Poo poo gross".

God help me.

The next day...I heard him wake up. I tiptoed to his door to see if he was really awake. I listened. And then I heard it... "Poo Poo!" I flung open the door but I was too late. More poo...all over the bed.

Onesies onesies onesies...next nap - he's sleeping in a onesie with duck tape.

Welcome to the 21st Century, Old timer

I've always been an old soul...no, I don't drink warm milk at night (I drink "Mommy's milk aka wine), but an old soul nonetheless. I would rather curl up on the couch on Saturday night with my hubby, a glass of wine, and a good movie than go to ANY party in ANY town. This isn't new-I've felt this way since I was 20 (and married already). See what I mean?

I'm a believer in technology; don't get me wrong. I've been paying bills online since I opened my first bank account, and as a banker myself, I LOVE the products that we have to make a business more cost effective and more efficient than ever using technology. But this online stuff...maybe I was embarrassed that myspace interested me. It's for "teenyboppers" right? My baby sister set me up with an account, I hooked up with old friends, and I was off! I loved it. Now there's facebook-even better! Why do I tell this story? Because I read a blog from my friend and fell in love with this! Not because I want to plaster my life for the world to see, but because I can chronicle, in seconds, these funny moments that I call life. Moments that only a mom would crack a smile at...because somewhere deep inside...it's familiar...all too familiar.

So my blog page is pink because there is way too much blue in my life. I have a husband, a 22 month old all boy boy and a 7 week old baby boy. And me, I'm a little bit of a tomboy...always have been. So pink it is!

This busy mom who forgets to write in the baby book and emails herself to do items (i.e."J school dipes"[jackson needs diapers at school, bring them tomorrow] and "ft J sch" [set an appointment near this time on my calendar and near Jackson's school so I can stop by Jackson's school and take pictures of the fire truck visit today]) etc. can chronicle the best moments in life-the moments that make me stop telling Jackson to stop putting his hand down his pants for the THOUSANTH time and start to just smile. Because these are the days of our lives-the days from the perspective of a mom, a mom of 2 under 2.