My two year old is smarter than me

My 2 year old was in big trouble for biting a friend at school and I decided to see if he understood the concept of getting fun things taken away for the afternoon as punishment.

We were eating dinner and discussing the punishments when "Unckie John" (who was visiting for a few days) came up the stairs and asked if J could go swimming with him. I made a big deal out of saying "No, Unckie John, J can't go swimming tonight because he bit his friend today at school."

While Unckie John was outside, J asked more questions:

J: Unckie John go sthwimming?
Me: Yes, Unckie John didn't bite his friend today, so he gets to go swimming.
J: My go sthwimming?
Me: No, baby, you can't because you bit your friend.
J: My go outside?
Me: No, not tonight you can't.
J: My take off shirt?
Me: No, Baby
J: My watch movie?
Me: No, Baby, listen. You bit your friend, so no swimming, no going outside, no taking off your shirt and no movies.
J: And no milk! and no NightNight! No Sthur!

Between stifled giggles I managed to say "Nice Try"

WAKE! UP! BABY! GAM! Things I have learned Part 7

When you are 1 hour into a 4 hour car ride and your 2 year old yells "WAKE! UP! BABY! GAM!" It's going to be a looooong trip.

Just because you are at work, dressed professionally in your business suit, up to your ears in analyzing a tax return, doesn't mean you won't catch yourself singing the theme song to Clifford the Big Red Dog in your head.

Definitely pay attention when you hear your 2 year old say "Set. It. Goooo!" There's no telling what he's about to do/jump off of/throw at your car. See picture.

Even when a 2 year old has a stomach bug, it doesn't mean he won't ask for pizza for dinner.

I'm my 2 year old's girlfriend. I know because he told me.

When you leave your breakfast unattended you will find a 2 year old sitting in your chair helping himself when you return. Mainly because his 11 month old brother is chowing down on a bagel that he stole from his brother's plate. Bunch of breakfast thieves I gave birth to...

Try to never arrive home when the mail man is there. 2 year olds DO NOT understand why they don't have ice cream in their trucks.