Is that a turd hanging on my wall? Things I have Learned Part 6...all to do with poop

When you take off a baby's diaper and it appears that they pooped, but there is no poop in the diaper...DO NOT ignore it. The poop didn't disappear. You will find the golf ball sized turd dangling from your bathroom wall 3 hours later and you will think...How the hell did that get there?

When you reward your 2 year old for "poo pooing" by giving him dum dums...his poo turns the color of the previous dum dum.

It IS possible to change a dirty diaper on a sleeping 10 month old (only to be attempted on nighttime diapers 'cause it's just not worth it otherwise)...
Step 1: Hold flashlight in your mouth
Step 2: take off pants

Step 3: decide whether you are good enough at diapers to do this while he's on his tummy

Steps 4-8: Unseal, wipe wipe, slip clean one under, powder, and seal again.

Step 9: Hold still cause he just woke up

Step 10: Start to drool on your flashlight cause your trying not to breathe while holding still

Step 11: work fast cause he went back to sleep - put on pants
Steps 12 and 13: Escape and wipe off flashlight before it sparks in your mouth

Last step: Give yourself a gold star - you earned it!